I recently received a message from a good friend of mine with Narcolepsy who has been going through a particularly hard time. She asked me to remind her that she is a strong and good person. And of course I will do that, but it really got me thinking about just how *strong* Narcoleptics are. How much of our strength is a direct result of the constant uphill battle with our disorder. Our very strength is derived from our debilitating weakness. Our only other option is to become severely restricted emotionally, and I have seen that. For a while, I have even done that. And that is no way to live. Even Superman, after repeated exposure developed a tolerance to Kryptonite.
Emotions Are Our Kryptonite
So many of our symptoms are triggered by the onset of emotion, not just cataplexy. I cant have a decent argument, even if I am winning, without needing to go lay down immediately afterward. (IF I even make it to a bed that is.) It is completely exhausting to even *FEEL* anymore. Oh and of course if I get pushed to the point of cataplexy, which more often than not, I do, then its all over… I am defeated, pushed to the ground by the weight of my own desire to be and act human when it is clear Android would have been a more appropriate choice… Emotionless and unphased by the human condition. Able to stand strong in the face of all exhilaration, all anger, all fear, surprise, laughter… even love. The list goes on… I cannot stand it.
Literally. I CAN NOT STAND. It wont let me.
Kryptonite comes in many colors and can effect you in many ways. Some forms or colors of K and their subsequent effects are very much like symptoms of Narcolepsy making it easy to identify with.
The Green K’s ability to bring Superman down to his knees in an unavoidable and often painful collapse. Much like exaustion.
Red K pretty much does the same thing but is usually only temporary, similar to cataplexy. Red K also has the effect of paralysis, and hallucination, which definitely will ring a bell!
Black K can split a person into two different personalities, (bipolar much?!)
And Silver K will cause paranoid delusions, hallucinations and hyperactivity. And which one of us hasn’t dealt with that at least once?
Happily not all the Kryptonite out there can be said to coincide with Narcolepsy, (Seriously like we really need to kill off plant life or become radioactive on top of all the other crap too right?) but enough of it does to really make you think. Dealing with so many diffrent kinds of kryptonite or emotions in our case coming at us on a daily basis, Its really amazing any of us are able to function at all. We are our own heroes everyday fighting this battle.
All fun fascinating facts about Kryptonite, but lets just stick to the basic original Green K for the sake of argument. (And my dwindling energy to get this posted…) Even Superman eventually because of the constant bombardment of his enemies using Kryptonite against him, had to enlist Batman to help him out. So regardless of how super you are, how strong, or how good, it is always going to be ok to ask your friends to help you fight your battles. Whether you are saving the world, or saving your sanity, it is much easier to do with people by your side who understand. We are our own heroes. We all know what it feels like to be the only Kryptonian on the planet…
You ARE a STRONG and GOOD person.