Usually I try to participate in things going on around me. With in reason of course. I am limited to what I can do. I am either sleeping too much from Narcolepsy, or other related side effects, in too much pain from Fibromyalgia, or to annoyingly paranoid from Anxiety attacks. All these thing wear me the frak out. (I also suspect I have other issues going on too, But I am in no mood to address them yet, so I am stalling for a bit.) So yeah… boo hoo about all that, whatever…
My point was that I will try to do things when I can I volunteer, I write these obnoxious blogs, try to be helpful to people. etc etc… but I can’t be all roses all the time. I’m sick too. There are days when I get up and I am mad and think how it’s not fair too. And then there are days where I just don’t fraking get up at all.
That being said, I need to start paying more attention to when am I really out of sorts and when am I just assuming I will be so I avoid things just incase. How much in my life have I missed out on simply because I assumed I *couldn’t* do something, so I never even tried? How many wonderful experiences and how many new friends did I not meet? The very thing I have literally on this very blog warned others not to do I have caught myself doing. Becoming apathetic about my life and my future.
Over the summer I participated in a 60 for 60 Challenge through No Fizz USA. It was easy enough once you got the hang of it and I don’t drink soda anyhow, so… no biggy right? I did all right. Now they Are doing a Walk The Walk Challenge. ( www.nofizzusa.org/wtw/ )And I immediately said no. I can’t compete with that. How can I clock how far I have walked every day for all of September when most of the time, I never get out of bed let alone leave my house. (Seriously, the Fibro has gotten bad since I moved south. I think Humidity is a huge factor here. Might as well be the dead of winter in Ohio.) So I said no to this challenge *assuming* It was something I cannot do.
The only person who sets those limitations is me. And that is pretty shameful. I freaking know better than that. So I am changing my mind. I am going to sign up probably tomorrow because I am tired and need to go to bed. I know there will be people walking circles around me. I know I likely wont hit 10 miles all month. But It’s not about the challenge against other people, it’s about the challenge to myself. If I get out of bed just one time for the sake of just getting up and moving that day because of Walk the Walk, I am already going to be winning.
A very good friend of mine reminded me it’s about the attitude. Not the illness. Sounds so weird hearing my own words come from someone elses mouth. Perhaps we all need to be reminded from time to time. Even the glitter queens like me.