Ok and once again it is like 6 in the morning and the whole world suddenly seems completely obvious to me. And it all has to do with math…

So here is how it really happened.

How we really came to be as we are today.

A kajillion years ago or whatever we were just a peaceful people running around here on our cute little planet of ours. We were artist we drew on rocks and sides of mountains. Giant freaking spiders and monkeys and stuff…..

Then one day, they came.

Freaking aliens.

Aliens as you know are freaking brilliant with their cool space ships and science and math related life styles, flying all over the universe getting in other people business all the time. Well one day these super nerds were out cruisin getting high on some kind of wacked out galactic ganja and they thought, ( I say thought obviously because they don’t have to speak with their telepathy and all) “Hey man, lets go mess with the Earth dudes! What a great idea!” So they came down here and introduced us to Freaking ALGEBRA, which really if their parents knew, could have got them all grounded and the keys of the shuttle craft taken away for at least a week…. anyway they taught us this crap forever screwing with our heads and lives. Hell most of it they made up. Like the number eight. It isn’t real at all. They just said look here if it is facing this way …..8…..

it means this many..,IIIIIIII…. now if you flip it over sideways it means forever…!!!!!!!

(Seriously only a  hippie space stoner would come up with that crap.)

So now here we are a jillion or so years later, using technology based on nonsense. The only reason it even works is because aliens probably couldn’t mess it up if they tried. And as a result of our new found knowledge we have spent years and years and years messing up our planet. The aliens are looking down at us thinking oh my OMG WTH? (again they are thinking this cuz they don’t have to talk)

And because we were dumb enough to fall for their tricks so long ago, we have in fact made ourselves less intelligent. By far…….

We as the human race are the kids who eat universal paste.


And that is pretty SAD.


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