Gross out from fall out…

I am totally ick right now. Normally I would not share this, but I see this an important lesson for us all. Especially myself. I hope to not let this happen in the future.

Drama and heartbreak have taken its toll on me. Today I discovered that it is Wednesday. Depression set itself so deep in my head this time that I did not even realize it was happening. And now that I feel better… I realize Im totally gross at the moment.

People deal with depression differently. I usually crawl in my bed and wait for it to be over. I dont eat, I dont communicate well, I dont leave my house, get dressed or take a shower.

now I am feeling a bit better, I realize this has been going on since Sunday. And I am totally rank.

There are two angles to this. I should know better than to let other people get to me, than the way they do. I dont know why I think it is so dang important to be concerned about others, when it is a detriment to myself. I need to find the balance. The line to draw. Because it isnt there, and its my own fault. I should be able to care without letting myself fall apart.

But it is also important for myself and others to realize, the things we say and do greatly affect others around us. Its more than hurt their feelings. You could be disrupting their entire lives. Making them so miserable, its beyond belief. Even if it was not the intention.

Everyone is responsible for their actions. You have a choice on how you will handle a situation, and how you will react to it also.

I only wish this clarifying moment had come to me 4 days ago before I let other peoples poor behavior have a direct result on mine.

This is not directed at anyone or any group of people. Well, except for myself. Its just good advice I am will share.

I’m totally getting in the shower now.  I stink.


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